3. The power of touch

 

 

Touch is the first sense we acquire and the secret weapon in many a successful relationship. Here's how to regain fluency in your first language.

 

You're in a (0)  subway car on a Tuesday morning, or perhaps on a city bus. Still-sleepy commuters, lulled by vibrations, remain hushed, yet silently broadcast their thoughts. A toddler in his stroller looks warily at his (1)  passengers, brows stitched with concern. He turns to Mom for reassurance, reaching out a small hand. She quietly takes it, squeezes, and releases. He relaxes, smiles, turns away – then back to Mom. She takes his hand again: squeeze and release.

 

A twenty-something in a skirt and blazer sits (2) , a leather-bound portfolio on her lap. She repeatedly (3)  a few blonde wisps off her face, then touches her neck, her subconscious movements both revealing and relieving her (4)  about her 9 a.m. interview. A couple propped against a pole (5)  messages of affection; she rubs his arms with her hands, he nuzzles his face in her hair. A middle-aged woman, squished into a corner, assuredly bumps the young man (6)  her with some elbow and hip. The message is clear; he instantly adjusts to make room.

Probing our ability to communicate nonverbally is (7)  a new psychological tack; researchers have long documented the complex emotions and desires that our posture, motions, and expressions reveal. Yet (8) , the idea that people can impart and interpret emotional content via another nonverbal modality – touch – seemed iffy, (9)  to researchers such as DePauw University psychologist Matthew Hertenstein who study it.

 

In 2009, he demonstrated that we have an innate (10)  to decode emotions via touch alone. In a series of studies, Hertenstein had volunteers attempt to communicate a list of emotions to a blindfolded stranger (11)  through touch. Many participants were apprehensive about the experiment. "This is a touchphobic society," he says. "We're not used to touching strangers, or even our friends, necessarily."